M. Passy

Best human

One fateful, rainy day in October 1998, Jacob's world was turned upside down when his elementary school's secretary came on the loudspeaker in Mr. Makoul's second-grade classroom and said, "Congratulations, Jacob! You're a brother!" While this meant Jacob had the sibling he always dreamed of, more importantly it signified the end of 30-straight days of hamburgers for lunch and dinner while his mom was in the hospital on bed-rest. Jacob couldn't have asked for a better (or queerer) sibling. Whether it was playing "Squigglemonster" or talking about life, art and politics, life with M has been nothing but fun these past 18-plus years. (Side note: Jacob can't believe M is an adult, but that's a separate issue.)

Brittney Lewer

Jacob didn't know when he stepped into Ms. Hronec's Kindergarten class that he'd find a lifelong friend – mainly he was concerned with all the new toys the classroom had. From that day onward, Jacob had his partner-in-crime in Brittney: they wore matching Power Rangers Halloween costumes, wrote award-winning plays, traveled the country for debate tournaments, and attended prom together. And as luck would have it, after attending elementary, middle and high school together, they got to attend college just two stops on the T away from each other.

Steph Fischer

Jacob and Steph probably actually met at a debate tournament in high school – but they really first got to know each while attending a debate summer program in Boston the summer before their senior year. From then on, fate would have a funny way of bringing them together. It wasn't until their senior year though that they really became best friends. Since then, they've gone on myriad adventures riving the set of a musical through Boston, gallivanting around New York City and traipsing down Santa Barbara's urban wine trail. More importantly though, Jacob always knows that he has a sympathetic ear just a phone call or G-chat away whenever he needs a boost from Steph.

Maddy Perkins

It took nearly three full semesters of journalism school for Jacob and Maddy to become friends with each other finally – even though Jacob had wanted to befriend Maddy long before that. Luckily, Jacob and Maddy got to cement their friendship as sort-of co-workers at SourceMedia. Nowadays they don't work together anymore and have had to replace Slack with G-Chat for their daily instant messaging. Nevertheless, they still find plenty of time to compete on the smartest trivia team in NYC (Read the Fucking Manual), binge-watch trashy reality TV and record a podcast occasionally (they promise more episodes will be coming soon!).

Justin's Groom Squad

Ezra dunKle-polier

Best Human

When Ezra and Justin met, they immediately had chemistry. Justin could have sworn it was romantic. Ezra disagreed since he isn't into dudes. Justin has since accepted this and after living with Dunks, sharing many a bad pun and political discussion, staying up way too late playing Hearts and MarioKart, Justin now see's Ezra as the closest thing he's ever had to a brother. Justin has also accepted his role in Ezra's life as "Wife #2," happily subordinate to Anya. 

Mariah Gruner

The coolest person in Hill Hall, Justin was immediately obsessed with Mariah and did a bad job of hiding it. Thankfully she thought he was pretty ok too, and they bonded over shared classes, shared meals and shared love of trashy television. Mariah is the person Justin turns to first for advice and hot takes on pop culture. They have regrettably few pictures together except for this blurry one from Freshman year. 

Anya Gelernt-Dunkle

Although Justin STILL has no recollection of when he actually met Anya, it was a very fateful day in Medford, Mass. as he finally found the Julie Klausner to his Billy Eichner. With a common affinity for the same strange man, Anya and Justin became fast friends and discovered they probably have more in common than they do with their joint hubby. This ginger is a source of endless support, laughter and New Jersey fabulousness.  She is also hands down the best person to go to aquariums with while inebriated. 

Sam Kupferberg 

Although Justin didn't really like Sam when they first met, his constant presence in his life at Tufts slowly made him realize that he's one of the most reliable, witty and compassionate people Justin has ever met. Down to see almost any movie, Justin probably goes on more dates with him than Jacob. There is a well-substantiated theory that Sam is actually a vampire since they have no pictures together, so he is represented here instead by a parrot fish. 

Jean McCabe

Justin's kookiness and sense of humor can almost exclusively be traced to living down the street from Jean. High school best friends, they filled their formative days with outlandish photoshoots, mixing ice cream flavors, mocking reality television, raiding Justin's mom's pantry, and trying to reach that elusive fifth tab in Guitar Hero. 

Our Officiant

Ben Van Meter

Jacob's old roommate and the first person to see he and Justin as a couple, Ben has been one of  J+J's closest friends - both literally and figuratively, as he lived in Queens just a few blocks away for the past few years. With a keen eye into their relationship's inner workings from the start and a knack for funnily poignant rants, it was a no brainer to ask Ben to be the one to make them officially married. They only hold a slight grudge that he is abandoning the borough for law school in upstate New York. 

Flower Girl

Sydney Gilbert-McCallum

aka Best Non-Human

The queen of Baxter Woods, Justin's parent's dog Sydney is hopefully going to be the hairiest flower girl you have ever seen if she behaves herself enough to walk down the aisle and also not eat all the flowers.